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You attempt to break off but she is insistent. You think HEY!!!! WOW !!!! What is this I dont want to go big I want to go home shirt? Is this is every mans dream come true? A very pretty woman sitting astride you and passionately kissing you. Well after a minute of confusion she cools and you ask her what is going on? She does not tell you. The music is too loud to talk. She insists on sitting next to you trying to be like a loving couple with me. A little later that evening you take her outside to have a private conversation away from the loud music and you learn from her she is trying to make her boyfriend jealous by doing this in front of him. I have no interest in her and we go our separate ways that night.

Social skills are necessary when dealing with other I dont want to go big I want to go home shirt in any situation, whether they are romantic relationships, friendships, partnerships, family, or professional. Some skills that we learn come naturally to us, yet other skills must be consciously obtained through experience, trial and error. There are considerable obstacles, or barriers that would inhibit you from gaining the proper social skills necessary in dealing with others. If we were to analyze our lives further and look for patterns, then the answer becomes clearer to us. When we know ourselves, it is easier to know and understand others. When we learn to address our negative feelings such as anger, jealously, envy, or fear and can identify the ‘why’, then we are able to learn from these moments and thus regain control. We can benefit from our negative experiences by learning lessons for the future and gain greater insight into our own minds.
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As an example, I teach mainly corporate clients. Sometimes I teach the entire Board of Directors of a multinational corporation, sometimes I teach the groundkeeping staff. I don’t mean this as a disparagement towards the latter, but they tend to speak an entirely different language than the members of the Board. So with the Board, I’ll keep I dont want to go big I want to go home shirt on an academic level. Sometimes throwing in legal terminology or a bit of Latin (if they are Europeans) can get amused reactions and break the ice. With the groundkeepers, or the building maintenance team, or the truck drivers… I am much. much more down to earth. Hell I might even swear a bit (“But what if the f*cking sensor has been sheared off by Kevin down int he warehouse with his bloody forklift?”).
First, truth is never as clear cut as we’d like I dont want to go big I want to go home shirt. We like our ‘facts’ to say, “this is black, that is white”. This unfortunately is rarely the case. ‘This’ may be slightly darker than ‘that’ but they’re both kind of grey. When you ask any expert who studies the data, you’ll find that the closer you get to the truth, the less definitive it gets. You might find out that many diverse opinions are partially right, but nobody is completely right. This satisfies nobody, makes for terrible press articles, and certainly won’t satisfy your dogmatic friend, parent, or co-worker. And this is assuming that a person’s ‘facts’ are actual facts (I’m looking at you, internet).