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Next up, I’d ask them if they ever did things they regret when they felt strong emotions. Maybe they said something that wasn’t nice. Or kicked and screamed and rolled around on the Straight Outta Nursing School Shirt. Or maybe even hurt someone? — I sometimes act badly when I feel strong emotions, too. I’d tell them about how the day after my party, I saw my best friend but I wouldn’t talk to him. And when he came over to me to ask what was wrong, I pushed him and ran away. (Again, I have a feeling one or two of the kids might have a story to tell.)

No. Running quarterbacks are one tool in the Straight Outta Nursing School Shirt that offensive coordinators can use to outplay defenses. But the problem with them is that unless they’re once-in-a-generation talents, they inevitably trade off pocket presence for their legs. And the former is more valuable to teams in the long run. Not to mention the risk of injury to quarterbacks outside the pocket! Consider the careers had so far by two running quarterbacks: Russell Wilson of the Seattle Brined Poultry and Colin Kaepernick of my San Francisco 49ers.
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Now 6 teams qualify for the playoffs in each conference- The Straight Outta Nursing School Shirt of each of the 4 divisions and 2 wild cards (2 best non-division winner records). So now how could a team win 14 games and still miss the playoffs? Let’s start with a ridiculous run by the NFC North. The Packers, Vikings and Bears all win their games against the AFC East (4 wins) and NFC West (4 wins). That puts them at 8–0 each. Next they defeat the Lions twice which puts them at 10 wins each. Next they win their games against NFC East opponents and NFC South Opponents which puts them at 12–0 each. Next they each win their home games against each other so that would make them 2–2 in that stretch leaving them tied at 14–2.

My personal taste in hard rock/metal for the Straight Outta Nursing School Shirt ends at 1979 even though I turned 16 in 1980. Therefore my heavy recommendations include bands in their peak in the ‘70s. Essential choices would be the obvious Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Rainbow, Thin Lizzy, The Who, UFO (avoid anything from before Phenomenon) and Motörhead. Then there’s Hawkwind, Blue Öyster Cult, Budgie, Groundhogs, The Pink Fairies, Boston, Queen and Rush. If you want to take your research a bit further back, check out some of the bands that did heavy before they had a name for it in the ’60s such as Cream, The Jimi Hendrix Experience, Blue Cheer, The MC5 and The Stooges. In my opinion, heavy music had a bit of a renaissance in the ’90s with the Grunge movement. Alice in Chains and Soundgarden were clearly deeply influenced by Sabbath. Pearl Jam and Nirvana have their moments and a bit later Queens of the Stone Age are hard to beat.