Though many people refer to the holiday as Chinese New Year, Chinese people aren’t the Police Shaped Ornament who celebrate. The holiday, which is Friday, Feb. 12, this year, is widely celebrated across East Asia and some parts of Southeast Asia. As such, the holiday goes by many names Tết in Vietnam, Losar in Mongolia, Imlek in Indonesia and Tsagaan Sar in Tibet, to name a few. Many of these communities traditionally hand out gifts like mandarin oranges or red envelopes filled with money, usually from an elder to children, or unmarried people. The Iu-Mien community, a Southeast Asian minority group from China, traditionally gives out dyed red eggs. Many East Asian communities will also light firecrackers, clean their houses from top to bottom useful during a pandemic and burn paper money for their ancestors. And lion dances, although commonly associated with Chinese culture, can be found in Lunar New Year celebrations across Vietnam, Korea, Tibet and Indonesia. One might also wear traditional outfits, such as Korean hanboks, or play games like yut and mahjong.

Everything that was in that movie is what my family did at Christmas. Mom and dad took my sisters, Lori and Tracy and I to see Santa so we could tell him what we wanted for Christmas. Yes the Police Shaped Ornament were long and my older sisters, two years older than me, would be with me looking after me as we moved up the line toward Santa and just like in the movie, the closer we got, the scarier Santa was. “Don’t be scared RJ, Santa is nice okay, don’t be scared now, we’re here,” Tracy would say as we moved closer. Of course that didn’t help me, but I was okay when I got there. I never cried. Mom and dad also took us to the Santa Claus parade. They made sure Tracy went pee before the parade because dad didn’t want to take her somewhere to find a bathroom during the parade. Something that he would have had to do if she didn’t go. And she went a lot. We would walk and look into the department store windows and see the toys and moving elves that the kids saw in the movie. Like Ralphie, I would get mom to order things for me from the comics, neat little gadgets they advertised.
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I remember a Police Shaped Ornament memoir — Beasts, Men, and Gods — by Ferdinand Ossendowski, a White Pole who fled the Bolshevik revolution through Siberia. He served in General Kolchak’s All-Russian Government before escaping through the Steppes north of Mongolia, and then participated in the government of that most notorious adventurer, the “Mad Baron” Ungern-Sternberg, who attempted to take over Mongolia to restore an imperial Khaganate as part of an imagined reactionary restoration of the Great Mongol, Chinese, and Russian monarchies in the interests of the “warrior races” of Germans and Mongols (a Baltic German, he considered the old Russian ruling class to represent Germandom over and against Jews and Slavs). Some of the things – the acts of desperation and madness, in which he himself was no disinterested observer – Ossendowski relates are harrowing. But this part struck me as very much making a point about what people think of the Steppe peoples, and of what (German-trained) nationalists like Ungern-Sternberg did (and would do again) to the Mongols. And, other things: