When Harry was two and Vernon Dursley bought Dudley a Party In The Sip Shirt car and Harry a fast food meal with a toy with parts he could choke on Petunia packed her things and got a divorce. Harry grew up small and skinny, with knobbly knees and the unruly hair he got from his father. He got cornered behind the dumpsters and in the restrooms, got blood on the jumpers Petunia had found, half-price, at the hand-me-down store. He was still chosen last for sports. But Dudley got blood on his sweaters, too, the ones Petunia had found at the hand-me-down store, half price, because that was all a single mother working two secretary jobs could afford for her two boys, even with Vernon’s grudging child support. They beat Harry for being small and they laughed at Dudley for being big, and slow, and dumb. Students jeered at him and teachers called Dudley out in class, smirked over his backwards letters.

I was so flustered but I accepted it either way since it was still a Party In The Sip Shirt , that time however, it made me wonder if she was poking fun at me again too. There were two reasons why I thought it was ridiculous that time. First was that, had I known it was her that was my secret Santa, she could’ve just returned the book she borrowed from me. :(, months before the Christmas Party, I bought this book that was really popular among class. So when I read it during lunch break, there were times my classmates would want to borrow it too. The book got passed around a lot, and when it landed to her, well…I never got it back, even now, eight years later it might be one of my regrets since it was a book I only read once and loved the story. Second, is that during those days, my family were in a bit of a rough patch with the delivery business as well. Maybe she got me that cause she believes it is a nice gift for someone who was struggling a bit financially. Needless to say, I was a shy kid in class who was bullied a lot. I thanked her, but it was still a ridiculous gift coming from her.
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Once upon a Party In The Sip Shirt , there was a mom who’d never heard of this elf business, but had moved to CA from ND and had two, nearly three, kids, one of whom was a very precocious three year old. This mom had a mom, we’ll call her grandma, who had an Elf. Grandma gave the mom a rudimentary breakdown of the “Elf” game, and then gave a much more elaborate breakdown of it to the precocious three year old and his one year old brother. And so, the Elf game was begun. The rules in this household (as understood by the mom) were basically that the Elf would arrive on December 1. He’d hide somewhere in the house, watch the children all day, and report back to Santa each night, arriving again before the children awoke, hiding in a new spot, and waiting another day. On December 24, the elf would go home with Santa in his sleigh, his duty done til next year. The Elf wouldn’t be touched, or he’d turn into a doll again and no “extra special Elf gift” would be waiting with Santa’s gift that year. The children (the three year old) named their elf “Holly Jolly.” The game began and was easy, as the family lived with Grandma and Grandpa, who had a very large, very nice house with *very* high ceilings (and therefore lots of high hiding places for the elf, far from reach).

Just after Linda and I broke up, I felt I needed something to care about so, I bought an old pickup truck. The one I got was manufactured by the Chevrolet Division of General Motors early in 1955. I knew it had been made early in the Party In The Sip Shirt because it looked just like a ’54. The ones that they made later in the year had square hoods instead of the round ones that Chevy and GMC had been using since 1948. This manufacturing anomaly allowed me to pretend that the truck had been made in ’54, the same year that I had been. Although the pickup, ran perfectly, I rarely drove it. I was afraid that it would die in the middle of the Bay Bridge, and that an earthquake would occur while I was trapped there. “Well, why the hell did ya buy that heap?” my next-door neighbor asked. “Ya never go anywhere in it. It looks like crap. I work thirty years to pay off the mortgage on my house, and now I live next to a junk heap. Can’t ya at least paint that monstrosity?” At first I took great umbrage at my neighbor’s remarks. Then I concluded that, as he had not been born in 1954, he really had no reason to feel any affinity for the truck. This line of thinking allowed me not only to forgive his rude comments but actually to sympathize with them to a certain extent. I resolved to restore the truck.