When I was quite small, my family were Jehovah’s Witnesses. My big brothers remembered their Catholic beginnings, they remembered magical Christmases. My little brother and I did not, we’d never been Catholic yet. We used to get very sad that all of our friends had lovely Christmas or Hanukkah, and we did not. We’d pout. My big brothers tried their best to console us. Our best friends lived across the New York Jets Crocs . Their dad was not home much, but he was a very stern man. He had quite the temper (when we grew up, we realized that he was always drunk, but when we were small he was just scary). He had a Doberman called Rex who we were all also terrified of. One year, I’m probably four or five, we’re sitting in my brothers’ room wistfully staring out the window at our friends playing with their new toys, wearing their Christmas sweaters, all that. The oldest two brothers, maybe trying to console us, convince us that we do not want Christmas at all. They tell us that Scary Dad is Santa Claus. They tell us that Rex the Doberman is actually Rudolph. Would we really want Rex landing on our roof? Would we really want Scary Dad judging whether we were naughty or nice, and sneaking into our house while we slept?

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I like to get this major sh**fight out of the way before I have to focus on other things, like making sure I’ve bought (and wrapped, in secret while everyone’s asleep) all the New York Jets Crocs , then preparing for the feast, making all arrangements, buying food while battling snarling sweat-demons at the supermarket. It will be even more fun this year, with “social-distancing” at peak-pre-Christmastime. Wonder what that’s gonna look like? Our family have always had a slight (very slight) advantage of having Christmas one day earlier than most Australians. However, if we’re doing it this year, we’re staggering it. Maybe it’s time more people did. Our Christmas will be about a week early. This avoids the mass-hysteria grocery shopping, it will be one week less hot (temps go crazy on Christmas Day), and we can relax after, while everyone else is still stressed and suffering. I’ve talked my family into it. In previous years, there was some resistance, as it wasn’t “real Christmas time”. But “Christmastime” is just an idea in our heads, and no day is really any different to another. Christ wasn’t even born on December 25. And he’s not complaining that people changed his day to a time that was more convenient, so why should anyone complain about a re-change? Anyway, sorry, my main answer is “Yes, we can absolutely put up our dex early, because Christmas preps are such a nightmare, that I want to get a full two months mileage out of them before I have to take them down again in the new year.”