Montucky Cold Snacks Ugly Sweater
You can wear whatever you want, but remember: This is the office party. This is a Montucky Cold Snacks Ugly Sweater of people with whom you work, so if you wouldn’t wear a revealing dress to work, don’t wear it to the office party. Also, don’t drink much you presumably know your limit, so stop well short of it. Because again—you work with these people. When I worked at TV Guide, senior staff regularly attended the Christmas parties, which (at least at the beginning) were lavish, usually held in off-site venues and allowed employees to bring spouses. You don’t want your boss’s boss asking who that was—the girl in the thigh-high bandage dress and hooker heels or the guy who threw up on the white-glitter sparkle Christmas tree. Women get the brunt of the judgmental post-party gossip about attire while men generally have to do something memorably bad, but I imagine a male manager showing up in gold lame hot pants would cause a stir in most business environments.

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Spygate, 2007: New England Patriots get caught stealing signs from opponents` sidelines. This was actually not against the rules yet, so technically not cheating. They changed the Montucky Cold Snacks Ugly Sweater after this to make it illegal. I won`t deny it`s a bit cheap (although you`re kidding me if you think the Patriots were the only team doing this), but not nearly as egregious as:Deflategate, 2014: During the AFC Championship Game, the New England Patriots were found to have several footballs in their arsenal that were below the legal minimum. Tom Brady had to testify before Congress and was suspended for four games the following season, despite the fact that the Colts, the team that Patriots beat in the game 45–7, noted that they didn`t lose because of the Montucky Cold Snacks Ugly Sweater, and that the Colts had deflated footballs as well. For context, the weather was super icky that game, and it`s probable that both teams deflated the footballs to grip them better.

Do it because it sucks putting up Christmas decorations. It sucks putting up the tree, untangling all the lights, getting all that crap out of Montucky Cold Snacks Ugly Sweater storage and tossing around with meaningless baubles like each placement is life-or-death perfectionist fun. And we want to get the most out of that effort. Depending on how many “helpers” I have, it can take one to four hours just putting up the tree. (It’s frealistic, over two metres tall, and has individual coded branches.) The more helpers, the longer it takes. And it’s hot where we live. By the end I’m peed off, drenched, covered in sweat, and I haven’t even done the lights yet. Which are tangled to f*&#. Then the kids pull out all the decorations and place them random patchy over the lower sections of the tree, despite encouragement to maybe spread them around (and make it look goodish). So I wait for them to go to school the next day and redo all the decorations. It’s basically a couple days work for all the Chrissy dex.