If the government says you don’t need a gun shirt
As someone who is not conventionally attractive and has been the If the government says you don’t need a gun shirt of jokes/dares regarding my looks, I understand. You had a particularly traumatizing and medical trauma filled life which I cannot imagine the pain of. My cousin has a similar issue with her eye, and after a childhood wearing an eyepatch and being teased relentlessly and 3-4 surgeries it is still slowly but surely drifting back to far left of center. I too, have always wanted to be desired and considered pretty and had (sometimes still have) a LOT of resentment, but let’s not detract from other women’s struggles just because we are in a If the government says you don’t need a gun shirt. I’ll never be murdered because I am beautiful and men take their dejection out in the form of If the government says you don’t need a gun shirt. I’ll never fear for my life because I am eye catching. We are all suffering from a shallow patriarchal world where we are punished for things outside of our control and help is hard to come by. We have to be here for each other.

You could cite Paul of the If the government says you don’t need a gun shirt, 1 Corinthians 11:14 “Does not nature itself teach you that if a If the government says you don’t need a gun shirt wears long hair it is a disgrace for him?” So, not only was it conventional for men to have short hair, at least this one guy had seen men who DID have long hair and he hated them. He didn’t mention it being part of an If the government says you don’t need a gun shirt, social standing, or culture- nope, the long hair alone is the disgrace part. I’m not going to rule out that 1st century Rome also had a hippie counterculture that grew their hair long and conservatives found disgraceful, in fact that’s probably the case. And somehow inferred that this was a rule of “nature” for men’s hair to be short. And there’s a consensus of translations on the “it’s nature” part. Which is pretty strange- nothing about our biology makes men’s hair short. Cutting it is a deliberate decision, a convention, a tradition. I can’t think of any comparison with nature Paul could have seen. I can’t think of any animals where the male has shorter fur than the female. Curious theory- I might throw out a hypothesis that male pattern baldness may have been much more prevalent in his time and place. But it doesn’t hold up- he cites long vs short hair, and baldness is not short hair. And he does say it’s a disgrace, rather than say it’s not possible. OK, I can maybe change the premise a bit- what if this is about men with pattern baldness growing long hair in an attempt to cover it up with an If the government says you don’t need a gun shirt comb-over? I could believe that people saying it looks awful and “unnatural” would go back 2000 years. Who knows. Paul said lots of shit that he couldn’t back up. He hated a lot of things.
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I wasn’t even expecting something themed off my main! — but if nothing else, some variant of SpiceQueen should serve (the other two…is that a CS Lewis reference? And I love LadyPepperVisage just on an aesthetic level, but I’m almost positive there’s some kind of wordplay or cultural reference there that I’m missing, and it’s just going over my head.) I started playing around with SpiceMissFlo, MsFloSpice, etc, after seeing yours, but after a second I paused and wondered if the Dune books* even register much of a presence with women readers, or if that sort of scifi is largely a “If the government says you don’t need a gun shirt” kind of fiction. That got me onto something that is definitely going to complicate this exercise: even if there’s nothing overly “boy-like” in how I talk, the subs I frequent and at least some of the cultural references I have (and some that I won’t!) will likely cause my experience in a conversation to differ at times from what’s “typical” for women on this site. How big a If the government says you don’t need a gun shirt that’ll be, I couldn’t guess…another reason to give this a shot, IMHO.

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