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The I Would Like To Worship Your Bare Feet Shirt is that in recent years, the term “Murder Hobo” has come to mean something else. It’s come to mean something nasty, evil and distasteful. It means someone who is murdering everyone in the campaign for no reason other than being “evil”or something. And the thing is, when is the last time you as a DM ever saw a party of adventurers do that? Probably never. “Murderhoboes” defined in this manner do not exist. They are a boogeyman or a mythical creature told to frighten young DMs so they go to sleep on time after brushing their teeth and eating their vegetables. You might have seen some rowdy players who got even with some bad dudes you put in the campaign, or who killed some people because they had nice magic items (and why not? That’s what adventurers do!), but I’m extremely doubtful you ever came across a bunch of players who were so degenerate that they killed everything in sight.

Once upon a I Would Like To Worship Your Bare Feet Shirt , there was a mom who’d never heard of this elf business, but had moved to CA from ND and had two, nearly three, kids, one of whom was a very precocious three year old. This mom had a mom, we’ll call her grandma, who had an Elf. Grandma gave the mom a rudimentary breakdown of the “Elf” game, and then gave a much more elaborate breakdown of it to the precocious three year old and his one year old brother. And so, the Elf game was begun. The rules in this household (as understood by the mom) were basically that the Elf would arrive on December 1. He’d hide somewhere in the house, watch the children all day, and report back to Santa each night, arriving again before the children awoke, hiding in a new spot, and waiting another day. On December 24, the elf would go home with Santa in his sleigh, his duty done til next year. The Elf wouldn’t be touched, or he’d turn into a doll again and no “extra special Elf gift” would be waiting with Santa’s gift that year. The children (the three year old) named their elf “Holly Jolly.” The game began and was easy, as the family lived with Grandma and Grandpa, who had a very large, very nice house with *very* high ceilings (and therefore lots of high hiding places for the elf, far from reach).
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So, the players are in jail. The Bard schtuped a Watch Lieutenant’s favorite barmaid, and he trumped up charges of I Would Like To Worship Your Bare Feet Shirt conduct, lewd behavior, and assaulting a member of the watch. Never mind that it was the Lieutenant who was drunk, in plainclothes, and that he threw the first punch. The Players are destined for the noose in the morning. It’s up to them to figure out how to get out of it. And here’s the important thing. You need to be able to work with what your players give you. Because, if I’m the GM, I honestly have no idea how they’re going to get out of this. I just figure that they will.

Sure- it may not be entirely a Christmas movie, hell the movie is set at Easter time, but it sure as hell has Santa Claus in it- or North as he is known in the I Would Like To Worship Your Bare Feet Shirt. I love this film because it not only has North, it also has Bunnymund (Easter Bunny), Tooth (Tooth Fairy), Sandy (Sandman), and a reluctant Jack Frost join forces to stop new evil threat Pitch Black, aka the Boogeyman. It is such a beautifully made peace of work- the animation is visually stunning, the story is fun, the characters have emotional plots and deep motivations. It has a fantastic voice cast to go with it and paints the Legends in a way no one ever imagined them. They aren’t only beings who bring gifts, give chocolate, collect teeth and give dreams, but they also protect us in secret. Now thats heroic.