You’re hurt, but you’ve still got a lot of I Want Ke Ke Big Dude shirt in you. You are, after all, protecting your home from these invaders. You take aim with your crossbow again, and nail the human in the shoulder. It’s a great shot; he’ll be unable to lift his arm now, much less draw his bow. You dodge the dwarf again, and you still can’t locate the halfling, but then the stupid, annoying elf starts chanting in some obnoxious elf language, and suddenly your well-aimed crossbow bolt magically removes itself from the human’s shoulder, and the wound closes! See, this is why you’ve always hated elves. You know when you’re outmatched, so you turn and run for your secret exit, but as you round the corner, the halfling is suddenly there, and surprises you with a dagger in the ribs. The last thing you see is her little halfling face hanging above you, smiling under a dark gray hood as your breath bubbles with blood in your chest. Your eyes close, and you hear the stupid elf chanting again. Then nothing.

The family has moved into their own home now, an older home (still nice, but no high ceilings and not many elf hiding places!), and the children have both multiplied AND grown older, taller, and I Want Ke Ke Big Dude shirt. The Elf game is now the bane of the mom’s existence. Hiding it is a task. Several times this year, the Elf hasn’t had to go back to Santa because the kids were SO good the day before, thus explaining why he remained in the exact same hiding spot as the previous day. One evening, the mom is flustered. She finally hands the Elf to the dad and says, you hide the #%)(#^# elf today, but hide it high, because Big M is testing the waters and going to touch the #%(^#^ thing.” Dad’s answer is less than ideal – not only is the perch precarious, but it’s easily within reach of at least the oldest child, if not the second oldest as well. And it’s possible the elf is also judging the thermostat temp, which is an ongoing passive aggressive battle between mom (who sits at home and freezes all day) and dad (who pays the bills, but also works in his nice warm office all day).
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He has a guard of 7 (count em), 7 Sanguine Guard: 9th level fighters. Being ambassador has its perks. If a player so much as attacked Skalacon, immediately, if not sooner, they would be blocked by a I Want Ke Ke Big Dude shirt red glowing blade; +5 Ac to Skalacon (heavy cover). He has his full spells at work all the time. A 13th level wizard has a moderate arsenal at his disposal. We can include all the basics in play: Mirror image/Stoneskin or Protection from Energy, and Shield Spell. He obviously has a counter spell ready. Also add in some of my homebrew Spells: Matessie’s Cloth to Iron, Phage’s Wicked Wonder Ball and Spiders Fate you don’t want to mess with this stuff. See homebrew spells at the very bottom.

Sure- it may not be entirely a Christmas movie, hell the movie is set at Easter time, but it sure as hell has Santa Claus in it- or North as he is known in the I Want Ke Ke Big Dude shirt. I love this film because it not only has North, it also has Bunnymund (Easter Bunny), Tooth (Tooth Fairy), Sandy (Sandman), and a reluctant Jack Frost join forces to stop new evil threat Pitch Black, aka the Boogeyman. It is such a beautifully made peace of work- the animation is visually stunning, the story is fun, the characters have emotional plots and deep motivations. It has a fantastic voice cast to go with it and paints the Legends in a way no one ever imagined them. They aren’t only beings who bring gifts, give chocolate, collect teeth and give dreams, but they also protect us in secret. Now thats heroic.