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Make your NPCs useful. Skalacon is very useful because he is, in a I Stand With Trump Spending The Rest Of His Fucking Life In Prison T Shirt , a benefactor to the player characters. Being the Curator of Magic, he buys magic items from the players — he gives them money or gems in exchange. He trades magic items with them. One item the players decided to part with, won them a small stone keep just outside of town. The players earned a home of their own. Thank you, Skalacon. Now, let’s count them up: he is powerful, has status, and it’s beneficial to remain friends for his arcane dealings. That’s 3 things to his credit. I don’t have to worry about Skalacon getting beaten or killed by player character murder hobos. See?

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The family has moved into their own home now, an older home (still nice, but no high ceilings and not many elf hiding places!), and the children have both multiplied AND grown older, taller, and I Stand With Trump Spending The Rest Of His Fucking Life In Prison T Shirt. The Elf game is now the bane of the mom’s existence. Hiding it is a task. Several times this year, the Elf hasn’t had to go back to Santa because the kids were SO good the day before, thus explaining why he remained in the exact same hiding spot as the previous day. One evening, the mom is flustered. She finally hands the Elf to the dad and says, you hide the #%)(#^# elf today, but hide it high, because Big M is testing the waters and going to touch the #%(^#^ thing.” Dad’s answer is less than ideal – not only is the perch precarious, but it’s easily within reach of at least the oldest child, if not the second oldest as well. And it’s possible the elf is also judging the thermostat temp, which is an ongoing passive aggressive battle between mom (who sits at home and freezes all day) and dad (who pays the bills, but also works in his nice warm office all day).

