I PUT THE L IN LESBIAN SHIRT
You can wear whatever you want, but remember: This is the office party. This is a I PUT THE L IN LESBIAN SHIRT of people with whom you work, so if you wouldn’t wear a revealing dress to work, don’t wear it to the office party. Also, don’t drink much you presumably know your limit, so stop well short of it. Because again—you work with these people. When I worked at TV Guide, senior staff regularly attended the Christmas parties, which (at least at the beginning) were lavish, usually held in off-site venues and allowed employees to bring spouses. You don’t want your boss’s boss asking who that was—the girl in the thigh-high bandage dress and hooker heels or the guy who threw up on the white-glitter sparkle Christmas tree. Women get the brunt of the judgmental post-party gossip about attire while men generally have to do something memorably bad, but I imagine a male manager showing up in gold lame hot pants would cause a stir in most business environments.

I PUT THE L IN LESBIAN SHIRT
One Christmas I really wanted a Big Bruiser wrecker set that hauled the I PUT THE L IN LESBIAN SHIRT with the busted fender that you could repair. I’m sure the reason I didn’t get that was my Mother didn’t want me to grow up to be a wrecker driver. So sometimes I didn’t get what I want, but most of the time I did. I remember the magic of waking up on Christmas morning, depicted so well in the movie. There were big dogs in my neighborhood that sometimes caused problems. Decorating the tree was a big event. I even experienced bullies. All of that is in the movie. I like other movies, some that I can’t really relate to, but that’s why I think I enjoy A Christmas Story so much, as I can relate to it. I can relate to Christmas Vacation as well, as it recalls big family get-togethers from the 1950s and early 1960s, which I haven’t experienced in 50 years. Christmas movies I like without really being able to relate to them are Home Alone 1 & 2, White Christmas, and Miracle on 34th Street.

