Hocus Pocus Sisters Witch Ugly Sweater Party

Hocus Pocus Sisters Witch Ugly Sweater Party

When I started my first “real” job in I.T., I was told that it was traditional for new female employees to receive suggestive gifts in the Hocus Pocus Sisters Witch Ugly Sweater Party. Thus prepared, I put on a carefree smile when I unwrapped a dildo. I did the whole “cool girl” thing. “Haha, guys, good one!”. Mistake. The following year, I got even more lewd gifts, which didn’t make sense, because I wasn’t a newbie anymore. Oh well, whatever. The next year, my gift was a planter in the shape of a horrifically stereotypical Native American man, with a cactus sticking out of his pants. So, crude and racist. I finally had enough. I lifted the thing over my head in front of everyone and flung it with all my strength into the garbage. The sound of shattering ceramic was deafening, as was the ensuing silence. The year after that, I got a non-offensive candle.

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Hocus Pocus Sisters Witch Ugly Sweater Party,

Best Hocus Pocus Sisters Witch Ugly Sweater Party

I ran into the house, got the Hocus Pocus Sisters Witch Ugly Sweater Party, went to the living room, pushed the furniture off the nice rug Sasha’s mom sent us, and carved into it with the shears. Sasha came out of the bedroom wrapped in a blanket, half asleep. “What’re you doing?!” “I’ll explain in a bit.” I kept cutting feverishly, barely even hearing her repeated questions. I bundled up my final product, and smiled at Sasha. She looked pissed. “What the hell are you doing Harry!? You’re scaring me, talk to me!” I kissed her, “Sash, I think I’ve figured it out. Trust me, ok?” She looked exasperated, but nodded. I stormed outside with Dash, heading back toward the shed. I set everything up, moved all the tools, hoses and other shed-shit to the garage then, delirious, looked my little project over. Hot damn, I thought, if this works, Dan and Joe’ll never believe it.

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I could absolutely see my family saying this stuff.  I feel your pain…. One of my grandmas found out I’m into tarot and……. That was fun…. Tried to lecture me about how she didn’t want that to “be my religion” and how the Hocus Pocus Sisters Witch Ugly Sweater Party used to believe in it and she hopes I find god. I just laughed and told her that was a misconception that was made up, to spread fear in ignorant Christians, who don’t do their research. Many cultures had cards/card games, but not every card/card game is evil, even if Christians suck at poker and try telling you otherwise. Lol. I’ve had other family members (usually the older ones) tell me they pray that I find god, because of the music I listen to, the way I look, my interest in things like horror movies and probably weird things like skulls and weird pets… But I’m not out here judging everyone, saying I think they need a little satan in their life or some shit like that (I’m not satanic, but that seems to be the impression these people get). It disappoints me that they can’t just live and let live. I’m not out here doing some crazy shit, I just have some odd interests.