When Harry was two and Vernon Dursley bought Dudley a For The Church shirt car and Harry a fast food meal with a toy with parts he could choke on Petunia packed her things and got a divorce. Harry grew up small and skinny, with knobbly knees and the unruly hair he got from his father. He got cornered behind the dumpsters and in the restrooms, got blood on the jumpers Petunia had found, half-price, at the hand-me-down store. He was still chosen last for sports. But Dudley got blood on his sweaters, too, the ones Petunia had found at the hand-me-down store, half price, because that was all a single mother working two secretary jobs could afford for her two boys, even with Vernon’s grudging child support. They beat Harry for being small and they laughed at Dudley for being big, and slow, and dumb. Students jeered at him and teachers called Dudley out in class, smirked over his backwards letters.

I’m approaching 60 and people I work with, and even people I know in their 20’s and 30’s are very unhealthy. I see people around my age dropping from For The Church shirt and heart attacks, which is what you 20 year olds will be looking forward to before my age if you don’t adjust your diet and start exercising now. All those people who chased money when they were younger are now dying because of poorly weighted work/life balance. Sure you’re financially secure, but that doesn’t mean squat if you’re lying in a hospital bed or immobile. And for gods sake, make exercise one of your higher priorities. Don’t be a fatty with the excuse ‘enjoy life,’ or ‘eat what you enjoy’ or ‘you only live once’ or ‘I dont have the time’… because later down the track. you will wish you didn’t. Eat healthy food, even if it doesn’t taste nice for glutonous gratification.
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The family has moved into their own home now, an older home (still nice, but no high ceilings and not many elf hiding places!), and the children have both multiplied AND grown older, taller, and For The Church shirt. The Elf game is now the bane of the mom’s existence. Hiding it is a task. Several times this year, the Elf hasn’t had to go back to Santa because the kids were SO good the day before, thus explaining why he remained in the exact same hiding spot as the previous day. One evening, the mom is flustered. She finally hands the Elf to the dad and says, you hide the #%)(#^# elf today, but hide it high, because Big M is testing the waters and going to touch the #%(^#^ thing.” Dad’s answer is less than ideal – not only is the perch precarious, but it’s easily within reach of at least the oldest child, if not the second oldest as well. And it’s possible the elf is also judging the thermostat temp, which is an ongoing passive aggressive battle between mom (who sits at home and freezes all day) and dad (who pays the bills, but also works in his nice warm office all day).

It is said Bishop Nicholas died on 6 December 343. The Catholic Church canonized him years later, and became the patron saint of children and For The Church shirt, and was associated with gift-giving. He became a popular saint by Roman Catholics, Orthodox Catholics, and even Protestants in Holland and other European countries in the 1500s. The Propagation of The Myth The Dutch had a special place in their hearts for St. Nicholas whom they called Sint Nikolaas or Sinterklass (a nickname or shortened term for Sint Nikolaas). They celebrated December 6 as the feast day of St. Nicholas. Dutch children are encouraged by their parents to put out their shoes with carrots or apples or nuts or sweets inside the night before December 6 for Sinterklaas’ white horse with the hope they would be exchanged for gifts of sorts. The children would get the surprise of their life when they discovered gifts inside their shoes in the morning.