Flamingo Ugly Christmas Sweater
You can wear whatever you want, but remember: This is the office party. This is a Flamingo Ugly Christmas Sweater of people with whom you work, so if you wouldn’t wear a revealing dress to work, don’t wear it to the office party. Also, don’t drink much you presumably know your limit, so stop well short of it. Because again—you work with these people. When I worked at TV Guide, senior staff regularly attended the Christmas parties, which (at least at the beginning) were lavish, usually held in off-site venues and allowed employees to bring spouses. You don’t want your boss’s boss asking who that was—the girl in the thigh-high bandage dress and hooker heels or the guy who threw up on the white-glitter sparkle Christmas tree. Women get the brunt of the judgmental post-party gossip about attire while men generally have to do something memorably bad, but I imagine a male manager showing up in gold lame hot pants would cause a stir in most business environments.

Flamingo Ugly Christmas Sweater,
Best Flamingo Ugly Christmas Sweater
The last one is important because arguably Batman Returns is way more of a Christmas film than any of that list, including Die Hard. It begins with people exchanging “Merry Christmas” AND ends with Bruce Wayne and Alfred exchanging the line “Merry Christmas” (not to mention the word Christmas must appear like 50 times). Mistletoe is really central to the plot (“mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it”). Penguin’s origin and final showdown with Batman both take place on Christmas eve. Penguin’s origin is fraught with Christian and Jewish undertones. Two of the film’s major action set pieces take place at Gotham’s giant Christmas tree. The composer, Denny Elfman, based the film’s score on orchestral Christmas music. Penguin may have even been modeled slightly after a Flamingo Ugly Christmas Sweater of Santa Claus and the Grinch, steals the firstborn son of everyone in Gotham, and has elfen like henchmen.

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