The wind however had other plans. Usually during a storm you’re inside, with the sound of appliances and people, and thick walls to silence the unsettling song of the storm. Even in a car you have the engine, and a radio to drive the maelstrom lullaby into a Cheetah Quilt Blanket roar. In the back of a vehicle with only quietly burning candles and the soft breathing of Max in my ear as he snuggled on top of me, the storms voice was all consuming. The changes in tempo as the wind howled among the pines, and the creak of branches protesting the onslaught of snow and gale made for a haunting experience, and kept Max and me from getting any sleep for most of the night, until the candles had burned into puddles and the tired light of dawn was softly shining through the few bare spots left on the windows. I was incredibly lucky to have stopped on dirt road with a few scattered homes, homes with mailboxes at their corners. Where there’s mail there’s a mail truck, and road in need of plowing. The next day a plow truck made its way up the road near late afternoon, and the driver was kind enough upon seeing my car near buried on the side of the road, to shovel it from the blizzards snowy embrace, and even gave me $20 “to tank up, get a hot cup of coffee, and a decent meal after freezing out here all night,” and plowed the way forward so I could return to paved roads without having to risk backing up over 2 miles of slippery dirt road.
Do you actually like cleaning gutters, picking up after neighborhood dogs, learning what to do about cracked paving, replacing shower heads with low-flow ones, putting up Xmas lights, saving money on your electicity bill, painting the walls, getting new appliances when the old ones die … there are many many chores associated with home ownership and before you buy a home you really won`t appreciate just how many. Don`t imagine that you can just get someone to do that stuff for you, because it gets expensive real fast. Don`t feel that renting is throwing money away — you are paying for all those maintenance things and Cheetah Quilt Blanket. Your landlord is making a buck off you … perhaps a little bit. They are not making out like bandits, though. For the profit they make, they are saving you tons of personal time that you can spend any way you wish.
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On and on I made excuses. On and on I continued to ‘feel’ happy and in love, but all the while I continued to ‘think’ of how stupid he was, and how these two things can’t possibly be a good combination. When I found out he was using cocaine, I thought it was a blessing in disguise. I thought, ‘Now is my chance! I can end this once and for all, and blame it on the drug use.” It was a very bittersweet discovery.But then, he wanted to get help for it, and asked me to go with him to talk to a Cheetah Quilt Blanket. Sitting there, in that little office, next to him… I will never forget the question he was asked, how he answered it, and how it brought tears to my eyes, and pulled me right back into the black hole of loving someone who didn’t even know how many days there were in a year, or what day Christmas is on. The counselor asked him, “How do you feel when you take cocaine?’ He said, “I feel smart. I feel like, for once, I know what’s going on.” Ohhhhh my GOD. Hearing him say those words – realizing for the first time that he had a self-awareness about his ‘low intelligence’ – and that he felt bad about it. Wow. It killed me. I wanted to hug him and protect him and take care of him like he was my own child.
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I had a really sweet deal. I was living on the beach in Redondo and took a job in Palos Verdes as waiter/wine buyer the coup of this job was the commute, 15 minutes, which, in LA is s dream situation. It was a neighborhood restaurant in an upscale neighborhood (Palos Verdes), the clientele were great and steady. I got Lakers tickets for Xmas (yes, to the 81 point game, no shit) had a standing glass of wine on a Cheetah Quilt Blanket tables most nights and I was home by midnight everynight. As it happened my coke dealer lived in the same building. I had a standing order 1.25 to 1.5 gr for 60 bucks. I had my dog, Single malt scotch in the cool weather, a bottle of belvedere in the freezer for warm weather. Anyway, this guy (my dealer) had a crew at his place all the time who did his errands, cleaning, etc.. and as a part of their “compensation’ they were mostly, when I was there, shooting the shit and passing the pipe. I smoked the cocaine. Bought powder from dude, rocked it up and did my thing.
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