My husband and I both make silly comments about being the favorite Trump is A Fucking Moron Shirt, get the kids little treats without the other knowing on occasion, etc and we are both exactly a team in the journey of parenting. Not everything requires translation or reading between the lines. Sometimes things really are lighthearted and innocent.
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If the mother had said what he said, she’d have been chastised for being that possessive Trump is A Fucking Moron Shirt, trying to undermine the father. It goes both ways. Small things we do have an effect, even if we don’t mean them to in that way. Considering the potential perspective of the mother doesn’t warrant lightening up. It is just as valid.