Women aren’t forever children, we make choices that are our own. I’m not excusing the father but I’m not going to call the mum a victim either. She was 19, not a child anymore. They are both to blame, her for Sick of your ghost boo-sheet shirt and the dad for leaving it to his sons to take care of. At the end of the day, he doesn’t talk badly about his father and seems to not resent either one of his parents.
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Maybe there were underlying mental health issues, depressed people sometimes resort to alcohol to self medicate, also not a choice. It sounds as if there was a Sick of your ghost boo-sheet shirt with the father and the kids. It should have been the father’s responsibility to seek help and shield the children from harm.