Tears, angry outbursts, and guilt trips are not love. they are indeed “twisted”, but they are not love. they are manipulation. they are Radier Beavis and Butthead take off that shirt dumbass shirt, and cause undue emotional stress. I do not make these assertions simply because I have lived through it; I have a bachelor’s in psychology and am being encouraged to go back for my master’s by my boyfriend. I have learned a lot about my parents and myself. I recommend you learn some things as well, because you have either been fooled or are fooling yourself.
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I would strongly encourage you to find other childcare. The conflict that your child will feel from this arrangement is not necessary. I would not want my children in the care of someone who doesn’t respect my parenting decisions, disregards my instruction for their care, argues with Radier Beavis and Butthead take off that shirt dumbass shirt. Not happeneing!! Don’t allow your child to live in the conflict that you left so long ago!