I was the one diagnosed with I’m not a Mama bear I’m a Mama horse like I’m pretty chill shirt and I was the one not showing emotion in front of my 13 year old son. After a meltdown my husband suggested that I show my emotion in front of him so he was aware of how I was feeling and it was affecting me. For us, this was the right choice. Allow your children to see your saddness, it may allow them to show their saddness and you can heal together.
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I’m glad you’re finding ways of keeping on with I’m not a Mama bear I’m a Mama horse like I’m pretty chill shirt, and also of making special occasions that relate your children to your husband. And you can tell them this is all because you loved him, and you miss him, and you want them to remember how much he loved them, at the same time that they have to live in the present.
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I have stage 4 cancer and the I’m not a Mama bear I’m a Mama horse like I’m pretty chill shirt that worries me most is everyone I will leave behind. I’m so used to being the one who picks up the pieces and I won’t be there for them. I hope that in the future there is joy for you again. I know there will be because I’ve been there. All you can do is take one day at a time.