When Delores spent his first night actually out with the other chickens in theI Like Cats And Crochet And Maybe 3 People Shirt hoodie, I was anxious about how he would handle himself, as he was pretty shy. After a few false starts (and getting pushed off perches by the other chickens) he chose a walnut branch that lead to the night perches and slept on that. When Delores became a big, beautiful Golden Phoenix adult rooster, I thought the hens would probably make absolute fools of themselves trying to get his attention – and if he ignored them it would serve them right! I suppose I should have done something about the name – but Delores responded to “Delores” and appeared fine with it. (Also, my Aunt Delores would have been devastated if I changed his name.) A friend suggested calling him “Del” – which sort of made sense – but that sounded like he was lead singer in a retro 60’s band. As long as Delores didn’t mind – and let’s face it, he didn’t care – I was perfectly content to have a sweet rooster named Delores.

The best office Christmas party I ever attended was in 2000, for theI Like Cats And Crochet And Maybe 3 People Shirt hoodie wrong reason. It was a small tech company. I had started with them the previous month and was anxious to look like a team player so I stuck my name on the list for the “do”, which was at a hired venue in the old town of Poole near the quay. I lived about ten miles away so a taxi was booked to pick me up at seven on Friday evening. I’d got back from work, rendered myself presentable and waited for the taxi. I downed a beer while waiting. When the taxi didn’t turn up on time I downed another beer. The taxi finally turned up a while late, during which time I’d downed some more beer. This was of course on an empty stomach, so I was definitely cognitively impaired by the time my journey started. A colleague, who I’ll pretend was called Jim, was already in the taxi. He was also drunk at this point.