It was a reasonable question for you to ask. Your mother’s words could also be viewed as selfish, in that she wasn’t thinking of Fo Three Fo Area Code T-Shirt. Just like you regret your words, I’d bet she regrets what she said, too. Neither of you meant to hurt the other, you were just grieving and each of you were dealing with that grief in your own way.
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When we lost my husband and my girls their father, my then 10 year old told me she understood how I felt. I explained to her it wasn’t possible, nor was it possible for Fo Three Fo Area Code T-Shirt. We each have a different grief. Not more or less, just different. And at that age to hear those words from your mother must have been frightening. Don’t ever think your feelings weren’t valid.